Hedgehogs of the World

A friend of my recently said that part of who we are is tied to what we don't tell people. Our personality is tied just as much to what we don't say or do, as it is to what we actually do or say. As people are inhibitions define us as much as any other aspect of our personality.

I'd never thought of it this way. I'm always very caught up in trying not to be the boring, quiet, closed person that I think I am. So I tend to think of inhibitions or fears, or just not wanting to talk about something as a bad thing. This doesn't mean I do it any less, it just means that I hate myself for doing it, I think should be stronger or braver.

But this conversation really made me think. What if it's not intrinsically a bad think. What it sometimes not telling people things is a good think, a part of my personality not to be despised but just another aspect of who I am.

Without my inhibitions, without yours, we wouldn't be the people we are, we would be unrecognizable, and we wouldn't necessarily be better, it wouldn't make us free. Without the parts of us that we don't show, or don't talk about or don't think people know (often they do anyway), without self enforced boundaries, we wouldn't be nice people to be around, we'd just be like animals.

So at the moment, I'm trying to think more positively about the quiet, scared and closed part of me, and not to hate that i am the way I am. After all, you get to a point where people know what you're thinking without the need for you to spell it out. An eye roll paints a thousand word!

Posting for posts sake.

Kirsty comes tomorrow and I should be tidying my room, but I'm not (in case you didn't realize).

Today I went to see Pirates of the Carribean At worlds End. Its one of those films that makes you wonder why we like some things and dislike others., or at least it made me wonder that.
It's a film with probably a billion flaws, the plot is sketchy, bits are ridiculously implausible, and of course for most people Orlando Bloom is a problem. But I liked it. Simple as that really.

So here's the thing. We don't all like the same things. We don't like things for the same reasons. You can hate one film because its cheese, love another for the exact same reason. Most of the time are "favorite" things is no where near the thing that we think is technically best. That applies to films, music, pictures, and probably people! Cheese summary: maybe the things we really like we like because of and in spite of their flaws. Perfect is not only unachievable...it's boring as hell!

Answer the question...not what you would like the question to be!!

I like this as an answer, you'd think it would have got something for original thinking!


Good Luck with the rest of your exams, try to get more than 0. :-)

There isn't enough room for me and your ego.

Ego:

1. The self, especially as distinct from the world and other selves.
2. In psychoanalysis, the division of the psyche that is conscious, most immediately controls thought and behavior, and is most in touch with external reality.
3. 1. An exaggerated sense of self-importance; conceit.
   2. Appropriate pride in oneself; self-esteem.

Good or bad thing?

Does an ego help or hinder?
If its the correct size it must help, tell you what you can do, what you can do. But then again does are ego hold us back if were not confident enough? Or make us idiots if its too inflated.
Ronaldo has one of the biggest egos on the football pitch...but then again, he is the best, voted for by the experts. So is he good because he has the confidence, the ego, to go out on the pitch and bash the ball? Or does skill allow an ego to develop? Could he do the things he does if he was a little more down to earth?

Exams mean Ego burst to the forefront, some thing they sill obviously do well, so that they will fail everything. I'm sure a balance opinion is must usefull, here an everywhere else. But who knows, i think this was just an excuse to search for things on the internet rather than revise.

Ordinary life is pretty complex stuff...

or so says Harvey Pekar

Some people are able to describe life with its ups and downs, its depressing, uplifting or amusing moments, in such a loving and achingly truthfully way.

I am not.

So after a considerable gap, I'm afraid what I have to report would I'm sure come across as very boring.

In general I've been plodding along very nicely, in my very own way. I've recently realised that some of my opinions of the world may seem very pessimistic, that the way I think the world works and my expectations of what life will bring can appear to be a complete downer.
I think the world has loads of negative aspects, I don't expect things to go brilliantly, and i think people are flawed, very flawed and often very wrong.
Yet, somehow, even as i say these things to me its not pessimistic.
I'm not sad, i'm not upset and I don't worry about these things.I don't think the world is a dreary place.
I'm not sure why this is, and I don't think I'll be able to explain it very well. The best i can do is say that I know that despite everything wrong in the world, the good is better, more worthwhile, stronger, and ultimately eclipses the bad. Not in a fairytale happy ending way. Just in a one good think turns all the bad things into noise, the stuff to get past, through, over, experience and make the good sweeter.

American splendor could be a film about nothing, or something. I thought there was something there, I'm not sure what.

Ramblings I know, but I was told to update!

Glasgow

It takes a long time to get to Glasgow from Bridlington! I mean I know in terms of the world, like say as journey from Australia to Brid, Glasgow isn't very far. But it is a long way to drive in a car with a dog draped over your leg.
But anyway this weekend that where I've been. I left Thursday morning at a relatively early time of 8:00 AM and got back Sunday.
I really like Glasgow, I know it has quite a bad reputation and people think its really rough but I've never really seen that side of it.
For me Glasgow means Broomhill which is the area where my Auntie Uncle and Cousins live. Glasgow means seeing people that I get on with really well but don't get to see enough of. I don't have a huge family, don't have loads of relatives that pop up all over the place and apart from Hartlepool the people that I would go and visit as family are extremely few and far between. (here I insert a dig at Emma - Hartlepool beat Darlington this week!!!) I suppose thats why I love seeing the family I do know.
Well this weekend has been no exception and I've had a brilliant time!
So quickly so that I don't bore you too much this weekend = shopping, eating, drinks, hearing practice French orals, pub lunch, pizza, lots of coffee shops and much talking (as you can imagine with 6 females in one house) :-)

Mothers Day

Yeah, so i understand that Mothers Day is, like so many other things in life, just an over commercialized thing, thrown in are faces for weeks in advance in a desperate attempt to make us buy stuff, and buy it now!
But, that doesn't mean that the deep meaning of it has to be completely lost to us.
Its bad that we have to be forced to do it, its bad that its can't just be allowed to be a spontaneous thing, but we should appreciate people that give us so much.
I know its not true for everyone, I know not all mothers are wonderful. But that just makes the good ones even more special.
Soppy as it is, my mum is special, shes brilliant and so to me, despite the sillyness of mothers day I like the opportunity to say so.
I realize I've been quoting alot recently but this is my mums favorite poem so I think its worth using, after all, the things you love show the person you are.

Wild Geese
by Mary Oliver

You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting —
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.