Hedgehogs of the World

A friend of my recently said that part of who we are is tied to what we don't tell people. Our personality is tied just as much to what we don't say or do, as it is to what we actually do or say. As people are inhibitions define us as much as any other aspect of our personality.

I'd never thought of it this way. I'm always very caught up in trying not to be the boring, quiet, closed person that I think I am. So I tend to think of inhibitions or fears, or just not wanting to talk about something as a bad thing. This doesn't mean I do it any less, it just means that I hate myself for doing it, I think should be stronger or braver.

But this conversation really made me think. What if it's not intrinsically a bad think. What it sometimes not telling people things is a good think, a part of my personality not to be despised but just another aspect of who I am.

Without my inhibitions, without yours, we wouldn't be the people we are, we would be unrecognizable, and we wouldn't necessarily be better, it wouldn't make us free. Without the parts of us that we don't show, or don't talk about or don't think people know (often they do anyway), without self enforced boundaries, we wouldn't be nice people to be around, we'd just be like animals.

So at the moment, I'm trying to think more positively about the quiet, scared and closed part of me, and not to hate that i am the way I am. After all, you get to a point where people know what you're thinking without the need for you to spell it out. An eye roll paints a thousand word!