My Mum has this thing, she always says that she is most proud of me and my brother because we're always ourselves. She says that many people go their whole life not knowing who they are. She thinks that its important to know who you are and to just be that person.
Well parents have the right to think well of their children. They can imagine them to be so much nearer to perfect than they actually are.
But I wonder how wrong she is about me.
To start with I'm not sure that anyone can really know who they are, a personality is such a strange thing. It's this abstract concept, that is really just a culmination of the way are minds work and all our memories. How can you be yourself when who you are changes so rapidly.
But beyond the difficulty of defining who we are, to be yourself you have to have the ability to disregard other peoples views of you. I know that I'm terrible at ignoring what other people think of me. I hate the idea that I annoy people, and yet I know i must do at times. But beyond that, I know how much the idea that other people dislike me upsets me. No one likes to be disliked, and I find it difficult to get passed that. It's the sort of thing that weighs me down.
Maybe what my mum means is not that knowing yourself is not caring what other people thing. But that despite other peoples opinions, and how much they hurt you, you realize that the best you can do is to just be yourself. Yes try to be a better person, but understand that you are who you are, you can't be anything else. Everyone is different, you can't change what you like or don't like or the way you act at times. It's just you. For better or worse.
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3 comments:
Everyone, with no exception, seems to be wearing a mask these days. The only problem with that is after having worn a mask for so long one tends to forget who they were underneath. So I agree that people should try to "be themselves".
As to your other point; It certainly is the case that one cannot truly satisfy all and himself.
Hrmmm interesting, i wonder what the balance is between sticking to values that make you 'you' while still being open to changing of the change is warranted. To what extent should other peoples' opinions matter?
If you try to please everyone, how will anyone every know you or like you. Everyone has a different idea of what you should be. So trying to be the person other people believe you should be, is silly. It makes life meaningless.
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